Browsing Category: Life

Turning 40 In the Time of Corona

Yes, my friends, it’s true.  I turned 40 last week in the time of corona.  My day went a bit like this…

I awake to the sound of text messages coming in.

Awwww!!  So early!!

Not so much.  They’re TWO separate reminders that there are zoom conferences for my kids in an hour.  Before a Corona-Panic sets in, mom’s text comes in and saves the day.

**Corona-Panic:  The feeling you get when you realize that the person in front of you has just grabbed the last loaf of bread in the state.

**Corona-Panic, pre-corona:  The feeling you get in Mexico on spring break, when the cooler is out of Corona.

I leap out of bed with a spryness of a girl in her twenties and proceed to put on a full face of gorgeous, glowing make-up.  Wait, I’m still dreaming, in a half sleep…. instead, I drag myself out of bed and put on my new daily uniform; sweats, thick socks, shirt, sweater and ANOTHER sweater.  These days my bones feel chilly.

I vow to buy myself those electric socks.

I’m immediately smothered with hugs from my family.  They’re all boys so the love fest lasts about 3.4 seconds, except from my favorite which snuggles me a full 2 seconds longer.  Wow, it really is my birthday.  A revelation my twin said to me last week pops suddenly into my head, “Wrinkle cream can’t save you now!”  I give that one an EXTRA firm squeeze (around the neck) which is both filled with resigned bitterness and absolute pride.  I’m cultivating a comedian and that shit is damn funny.  Bleak and ironic.  Perfect for today, I think.

I have asked for ONE thing for my birthday.  I’m salivating thinking of that hot cup of Starbucks coffee.  Nope.  In the Time of Corona, it’s coffee made with whatever milk product is in the fridge.  Today is creamy whole milk (tomorrow it’s low-fat, fyi).  I take the win.

20 minutes later, I shed some.  Tears, that is.  I can’t figure out all the kid’s passwords for Zoom, Clever, Epic, Google Classroom, Zearn, SeeSaw, Benchmark.  Turns out that turning 40 is a lot like turning 14.  There is a bunch of F-ed up hormonal activity, even pimples (!?!) and I’m not sure who I am anymore or who I want to be when I grow up.

Also, why are these kids so big and where did they come from??  I eye them with distrust while attempting to social distance myself.  That lasts all of 3 minutes… until the “I’m starving’s” start coming in.  How can these aliens always be starving?

Fabulous house from “This Is 40”

I somehow get it ALL working.  I look at the laundry and decide NOT to do it.  I’m a bad bitch.  I do a few leg kicks, squats, hip thrusts.  Yup.  Still got it.

I don’t feel a day over 39.

It’s 3rd meal time, or what other people call lunch out in the distant world.  I dig past the THREE 10lb bags of shredded cheese my husband bought to get to some sliced turkey.  Was there a cheese shortage I wasn’t aware of?  I think the tiny bag I bought at the hippie market scared him.  Hippie Market?  This is how I talk now.

My gf calls me and tells me 40 isn’t that bad.  I ask her if she’s ever tried Crepe Erase.  It’s on sale at Ulta.  True Story.

My oldest son defends me throughout the day… Don’t say that to mom, it’s her birthday.  Listen to mom, it’s her birthday.  I’m legitimetly terrified for tomorrow.

With dinner being made and a homemade cake in the oven, I put on Shrill.  Is Aidy Bryant a hero?  Absolutely, I decide.  All of a sudden I’m feeling pretty darn good.  I belt out “I’m on the deep end, watch as I dive in” while doing some robotic dance moves.  I could be losing it, or maybe I’m just happy?

Shrug.  I decide over-self-reflection is a thing of my 30’s.  Self-acceptance feels very 40.

Over dinner I climb up on my horse, cue the orchestra, and tell the kids that I’ve done great things in my life and feel good about the next chapter (remember I’m saying old people shit now), that I have a lot left in me (??) and really feel like the best is yet to come.  Even I can’t believe the garbage coming out of my mouth.  I can feel them rolling their eyes, mouthing, “Okay Boomer,” (I’M NOT A F’IN BOOMER FOR THE MILLIONTH TIME!!).  I can see them inching off the edge of their chair to attempt an escape.  BUT I’M FEELIN’ IT Y’ALL.  I talk another 15 minutes longer, JUST BECAUSE I CAN.  Normally, THEY talk and I listen.  But today it’s all about me and I’m a savage and mama take what she wants.

And with that, I know my day is complete.  I’ve made it another 24 hours without leaving the house.  I’ve annoyed the kids with a long speech that they couldn’t do a thing about (always a bonus).  I’ve washed every dish in the house 2x’s over.  (Hand sanitizer is for suckers.)  I may have entered the best years of my life?

I PICK THE DAMN SHOW WE WATCH.  Me.  I am all powerful.

Stay Sane Out There!

Santa Monica Proper Hotel

Hello there ol’ buddies and pals!

Life is crazy, right?  I can’t believe how fast time flies … it’s like, life is normal and on track and then BOOM, someone says the word “Holidays” and you’re feeling the weight of the year ending and STRESS. Lots of stress.

Right now I’m trying to focus on clearing out some chairs in my living room so I can fit a Christmas tree in there.  And it’s October.  Oc-to-ber.  Sometimes I don’t even know who I am anymore.  I remember a simpler time when I would buy all the gifts 3 days before, slap up a tree and decor and damn if it wasn’t f’in amazing.  Now I’m thinking about this crap in October.

Just slap me.

Anyway, I forgot to tell you guys something truly magical and fantastical that happened to me!!!  A few months ago I sold something to…. (Guess!  Guess!!)

KELLY WEARSTLER!!

You guys, I tried to tell a few of my friends this news and you know when someone has no idea what the heck you’re saying, but they’re trying to sound interested?  (Kind of like what I do to my children every single night at the dinner table – Uhm, why are the beyblades made in Japan better and cost $200??!?)  That’s what I got from them!!  How do you live life not knowing who Kelly Wearstler is?  Just answer me that.

Okay, now that we’re both hyperventilating (since YOU get me), she purchased a vintage piece for the Santa Monica Proper Hotel.  Something I picked is literally hanging on a wall in something SHE designed.

I die.

So here are all the delicious photos I could find – feast your eyes!

So, which picture has my piece in it??  The wall sculptures made with volcanic clay in New Zealand in the 1970’s…

None of them!!  Which literally, amuses me so much… because I think I would literally go nuts if it were.  (Kiss the ring b!tches, I’ve MADE IT!!!)  But since I did not make the publicity shots, it just means that I must stay there to search every crevice and report back.

I will add it to my holiday to-do list.  Hahahahhaaa!

Needless to say, that I came a few clicks from one of my idols.  And you know what?  It felt good.  Real good.  

 

I Hit the 100 Mark!

Hey there!

It’s Monday and I’m totally recuperating from the weekend.  Sometimes I just let out a huge sigh of relief when I drop the kids off at school – I can’t be the only one!  Then I can actually straighten up without having someone mess it all up 10 seconds later.  But this Monday I’ve got a little something extra… I’ve got a sniffle.  A FREAKING sniffy.  How dare that germ!!

So, I’m going to take it a bit easy on this Monday and tell you about something great!  Last week I (drum roll please) hit the 100th sale mark on Chairish!  And I all I can say is YASS QUEEN!  Go me, with my bad self!

It all started out as a fun little experiment, a way for me to be able to buy the treasures that I couldn’t buy before (since I didn’t really need them).  I thought to myself, “This is like therapy for me.  I’ll sleep better knowing that I didn’t let that amazing whatever get away.”  And you know what?  It’s totally worked.

I’m having a lot of fun.

Yes, my garage is crazy full and yes, I store things all over the house in the weirdest of spots, but I’m happy and I’m enjoying it and I don’t think I’m going to stop anytime soon.

I thought it might be fun to count down my favorite 10 pieces that I’ve sold.  It’s SO hard to decide, since I seriously LOVE everything that I buy, but here it goes!!

10.  Asian Lanterns

I actually bought these for myself about 5 years ago and just couldn’t find the right spot to hang them in.  I adore these.

9.  Brass Floral Chandelier

Why can’t I keep everything?!  Never seen another one like this and probably never will.  Although if you watch The Handmaid’s Tale, they totally have something similar in their formal room – it’s much bigger, but wow, it’s sooooo pretty.

8.  White Ming Side Chairs

Another piece that I had and enjoyed for years!  You really can’t go wrong adding some Ming Chairs to a room.

7.  Mid-Century Dresser on Tapered Legs

This was such a find!  But it did need a lot of cleaning and polishing and a coat of white on the top.  In the end, she was gorgeous!  And she sold so quickly that I didn’t have a chance to change my mind!!

6.  Americana Baker Cane Coffee Table

I almost got into a brawl over this beauty, but I’m so happy that I stuck to my guns!!  It’s really large and would be perfection in massive living room.  Gah, those brass wheels are all kinds of goodness!  And the colonial vibe of this makes me want to sip on a Singapore Sling!

5.  20th Century Japanese Coat Rack

This was HARD to let go.  I just didn’t have the right spot for it… but looking at it now, I’m totally sad and regretting that decision.  It did spark a bit of a bid war, and ultimately a woman who kept emailing me about it, just straight out bought it.  I guess it called out to her too.

4.  1970’s Highboy Dresser

‘Cummon this one is just so wonderful!  That wood grain and the almost brutalist look of the handles is such a striking combination.  Needless to say, this old lady went quickly and for full price.

3.  Faux Bamboo Settee

Oh boy, this list is kinda filling me with all kinds of emotions.  When I sold this one, my husband said that I should have kept it.  The nerve of him making me all panicked because he loved it too… which is pretty rare considering all the stuff I buy.  And I’ll admit, this would be AMAZING in front of a bed, reupholstered in a rich velvet.  Oh well.

2.  Solid Wood Custom Kitchen Island

If you’re a reader, then you knew this piece was coming!!  I wrote an entire post about her and literally screamed in the car when I brought her home.  Never, never again will there be another.  If I were redoing my kitchen I would have happily made it the centerpiece of the room.  Amazing piece and one-of-a-kind.

1.  1960’s Cane and Bamboo Bookcase

And my favorite piece… at least for today she is!  This was one that I wanted to keep in the family room with the big blue sofa, but alas she went to a wonderful home in the Hollywood Hills.  I even got to see the place and meet the new owner, which is the only reason I’m not bawling right now – the home was WONDERFUL and the bookcase really looked perfect there.

Runners up… of course I’m going to go there, ’cause these were too good not to be on this post somewhere!

If I lived in Palm Springs, the Chinoiserie Cabinet would be perfection!  A little girl’s room would be extra lovely with that embroidered art piece and how could you even resist an antique carved footstool if you owned a Colonial gem?  Happily, each of them also went to fabulous new owners who loved them.

I have done my job.

And yet, I have so many new goodies to add!  I can’t wait to reach the next 100 and I’ll be shopping like it’s my job in the meantime.  Wurk, wurk, wurk!  Fun, fun, fun!!